Andrew M. Friday

Friday’s Findings: Punctuating Inner Monologue

For a while now, I have been trying to navigate the way to format and punctuate inner dialogue. I’m always asking myself Am I doing this right? when I’m creating a scene.

So, I decided to do a little deep dive into unlocking the minds of my characters. Or to be more specific, how to express what they are thinking on this inside.

I was surprised at how many ways exist to present inner monologue.

That’s good news. I can use whichever method I find serves the purpose of what I am writing. But, wow, I just didn’t realize how many ways exist to show the inner demons of my characters.

And I’m going to share what I found. This article is less about the purpose of inner monologue than how to punctuation it.

Methods of Punctuation and Formatting Inner Monologue

  1. Quotation Marks:
    • With Dialogue Tags: A sudden gust of wind tousled his hair, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Grandma, I hope I’m making you proud,” he told himself. “Starting this food truck was a leap, but I know it’s the right path.”
    • This is punctuated just like regular dialogue between two characters. Instead of using the tag said, the writer uses thought, or as in the previous example told himself. Some sources claim a writer should NOT use quotation marks to express inner monologue, but I don’t know why a writer can’t do this if they want.
  2. Italics:
    • For Emphasis: The moonlit night enveloped Mia as she walked along the deserted beach, the sound of crashing waves creating a soothing symphony. The salty breeze carried memories of a long-lost summer romance. He promised he’d come back, she mused, gazing at the vast expanse of the ocean.
    • I believe this is the most common way inner monologue is presented by writers. What follows are more specific examples.
  3. First Person:
    • Italicized with Tag: The city lights glittered below me as I stood on the rooftop, a solitary figure against the urban panorama. Is this where I’m meant to be? I questioned, uncertainty clouding my thoughts. The distant hum of traffic echoed the restlessness within me.
    • Italicized without Tag: The city lights glittered below me as I stood on the rooftop, a solitary figure against the urban panorama. Is this where I’m meant to be? Uncertainty clouded my thoughts. The distant hum of traffic echoed the restlessness within me.
  4. Third Person:
    • Italicized with Tag:
      As Emily wandered through the antique bookstore, the scent of old paper and leather bindings surrounded her. What a treasure trove of stories, she thought, her fingers gently tracing the spines. The creaky wooden floors seemed to whisper tales of bygone eras.
    • Not Italicized without Tag: As Emily wandered through the antique bookstore, the scent of old paper and leather bindings surrounded her. What a treasure trove of stories. Her fingers gently traced the spines. The creaky wooden floors seemed to whisper tales of bygone eras.
  5. Omniscient:
    • Italicized with Tag: As the clock tower chimed noon, Mrs. Thompson greeted her neighbor, exchanging pleasantries while completely oblivious to the hidden chamber beneath her garden. Little do they realize the mysteries that coexist with their ordinary lives, Austin continued, a silent observer of the unfolding scenes.
  6. Other Techniques:
    • Start a New Line:

      The old attic door creaked open, revealing a world frozen in time. Dust particles danced in the dim light as she stepped inside.

      This place is a time capsule. Who left these treasures behind? What memories are hidden within these dusty pages? Time has woven its tapestry here, and I’m an intruder in this silent symphony of memories. Here, time stands still, and the echoes of yesteryears paint a portrait of nostalgia.

      A cracked mirror reflected the passage of years, and she gazed into it.
    • Dashes and Parentheses: The forest was eerily quiet—I knew he’d abandon me, the coward—and Emily took a cautious step forward, her instincts on high alert.
  7. No Punctuation or Formatting:
    • Shortest Narrative Distance: For the shortest narrative distance, omit punctuation and formatting altogether, seamlessly integrating thoughts into the text. Here are some examples:
    • Free indirect speech (used in third person POV): Mary looked out of the window. The relentless rain had caught her off guard, and her umbrella was sitting forgotten by the door. Why did she always forget these things? A sigh escaped her lips as she contemplated the soggy journey that awaited her.
    • First person POV offers the shortest narrative distance for inner monologue. It’s built right in: The waves crashed against the shore, their rhythmic symphony pulling me into a reflective trance. Am I on the right path? My toes sank into the wet sand. The horizon seemed to hold answers, but the uncertainty lingered like a persistent tide.

Which method should you use? I don’t think it matters as long as you are consistent throughout the story.

Here are some links to articles about using inner monologue:

Photo by Samantha Garrote: https://www.pexels.com/photo/selective-focus-portrait-photo-of-woman-posing-with-her-thumb-below-her-lip-2467401/

My Linktree

Posted

in

, ,

by

andrewmfriday

Tags:

,

Comments

One response to “Friday’s Findings: Punctuating Inner Monologue”

  1. How to write effective interior monologue in your novel – Write on the World Avatar
    How to write effective interior monologue in your novel – Write on the World

    […] Friday’s Findings: Punctuating Inner Monologue (Andrew M. Friday) […]

    Reply

Leave a comment