Friday’s Findings: Record Your Feelings

First, here are some articles on writing I came across this week:

Everyone is getting the COVID-19 vaccine. Why can’t I?

Some of us are choosing to get vaccinated. Some aren’t. No I’m not making a political statement, but thought I’d talk about my feelings as I’ve been trying to get a vaccine appointment for the past two weeks. 

On the first of the month, I was finally eligible in my city to get the vaccine. Using websites of various hospitals and other organizations offering vaccinations, I became frustrated. No openings were available. 

Some of my coworkers and friends got their shots. I saw people on social media posting how their vaccination went and what to expect. I bit my lip every time I saw or heard about someone getting their vaccine. And I couldn’t even get an appointment.

Some people I knew got the shot and they were young enough to be my kids. Yeah, they were considered essential workers. So am I. They may have had underlying medical conditions. So do I. I felt jealousy. Self-pity. Hopelessness. Embarrassment. Even fear.

I know. It’s stupid. I should have been more patient. It wasn’t like I wasn’t trying. I made phone calls and tried to schedule appointments online. When I saw everyone around me getting their shot and I can’t even get a human to talk with, I almost started feeling paranoid. Was I doing something wrong?

Then at work, our boss mentioned what one of our remote coworkers did. “Ken got on the (such-and-such) website right after midnight and was able to schedule an appointment right away.”

By this time, I was skeptical anything would work, so I didn’t give it much thought. That night I happen to wake up right after midnight. I remembered what our boss said and thought, “Why not? Probably won’t work, but at least I can say I tried.”

I was able to get an appointment immediately for the next Friday.

I was relieved. Elated. Relaxed. And able to go back to sleep knowing I had an appointment. And a little embarrassed at how snarky I felt about everyone around me getting an appointment.

I experienced a lot of emotions over this issue. Or non-issue. I made a big deal out of it, even though my feelings were legitimate. AS a writer, I want to remember the range of feelings I had. The reasons for them. Record them.

If I ever write a character going through a similar situation, I’ll know where to draw my material from.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio

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